Not Even Here
by Emtheunicorn
Summary: Nick has always said that John isn't here but then something came along that challenged that idea, making John think that perhaps he was actually there. Blame ficlet. John/shopping bag, Nick/car boot. Rated M for Nick's charming language.


Well I believe that this is the first fic for the movie Blame. It's just a little ficlet about John and his struggle over whether or not he is actually here. It also features John/the shopping bag and a little bit of Nick/the car door because they are flawless ships. This is just a little gift ficlet for Brii because she appreciates the struggle that John goes through every day as to whether he is infact here as much as I do.

Disclaimer: I don't own Blame or any of the characters, not even the plastic bag.

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Nick's words haunted John. 'Shut the fuck up John you're not even here'. They played over and over in John's head, challenging his views on everything. Was he really there? Nick didn't seem to think so. John was beginning to believe Nick, maybe he wasn't really there.

"He's still got his shopping in the car," Nick commented as he glanced in the back of the car.

"Take 'em inside," John muttered.

"What?" Nick spat back.

"Take 'em inside. He's not going to leave his shopping in the car is he?" John retorted, not too enthusiastic about Nick's attitude to this whole mess.

"You take 'em inside," argued Nick.

"You take 'em inside," countered John.

"You take 'em inside."

"You take 'em inside."

"Just sit there all day and tell us what to do," Nick replied sarcastically, ending their childish argument and moving to open the back of the car.

"What the fuck?" he yelled as he looked at the back door of the boot. The strange contraption confused him, it challenged him like no other had done before. Nick wasn't used to this, no one had dared to defy him before yet here was this car challenging everything that he thought he knew. He finally managed to figure out its tricks and reached into the boot to grab the box and bags that sat there before walking over to John.

"It's just a fucking shopping bag," he said angrily as he thrust a shopping bag into John's hands, causing John to spin around.

John stared at the bag as though it was his first time seeing such a thing, perhaps it was. He was confused at what it was doing in his hands. He looked at the bag in his hands, wondering if he should do something or say something to break the ice.

The light plastic rustled against his hands as he adjusted to carrying the weight of the bag. He was baffled by the bag, it shouldn't be in his hands. He had never had a shopping bag pushed at him in such a way before yet he found himself unable to turn the bag away. He couldn't abandon it now, it had been thrust into his life and John wasn't going to turn it away. He would take care of this bag. He would fulfil his mission of taking it to the house, he owed it that much, he didn't know why yet but he knew that he owed this bag.

There was something different about this shopping bag, John knew that much. He had never seen a bag like this before. The bag seemed to acknowledge him in a way that no other bag had before. He glanced down at the shopping bag, feeling the weight of it in his arms. He ran his hands over the bag, pulling back the plastic to glance inside.

It just sat there, it didn't shout, it didn't yell, it didn't insult him or swear at him it just sat there.

Nick's words ran through John's head again. 'You're not even here'. John realised what was different about this bag, it wasn't what it didn't do, it was what it did do. The bag acknowledged his presence, accepting that he was in fact here despite Nick's words. It knew that he was there, if he wasn't then the bag would be sitting on the ground at the mercy of the ants and for that the bag was grateful. It owed John everything for saving it from falling to the ground yet at the same time John owed the shopping bag everything. It had shown him the truth, it had proved to him that he was in fact here despite what Nick had told him. With that thought John made his way inside with the bag.

"That wasn't so hard was it?" Nick taunted once John had placed the bag on the bench.

John looked up at him, not even bothering to explain to Nick the life changing epiphany that he had just come to outside with the shopping bag. It had truly changed his life. It had confirmed his suspicions on the one thing that he was unsure of. Thanks to the shopping bag he knew that he was here. Then Nick glanced at him, his eyes demeaning him, causing John to rethink his previous epiphany. Without the bag in his hands he was lost. At first he had been confused by this bag but now he was confused without it. Without the bag he was no longer sure if he was in fact here. Perhaps it was all in his head, perhaps he wasn't really there.

Nick glanced up again to look over at John and found that John wasn't where he was standing moments ago, he was gone. Nick was right, John wasn't even here.


End file.
